Only One??

As a parent of an only child I often receive comments or opinions about choosing to only have one child. Most times I don't feel like getting into details of why we chose to only have one child and ignore their comments and move on. But, there are other times when I feel like I need to defend our decision. The thing is I think it is rude of people to push their opinions about why I should not have an only child when quite frankly they have no clue of the reason.
Well today all my blogging friends get to hear my explanation.
To give a little bit of history, Ryan and I dated for quite some time before we got married. All the time we were dating neither of us wanted kids; it just never was a strong desire for either of us. Well, about two years into our marriage I changed my mind. I guess my maternal clock started ticking. It took a bit of persuading but before long Ryan was on board with having a child too, one child, not multiple children.
We were blessed to get pregnant quickly but unfortunately the first two pregnancies ended in miscarriages. Both, were equally devestating to us. After numerous doctor's visits, being poked and prodded and genetic testing it was determined that I had a progesterin deficiency. I had to take progesterone supplements the first trimester to maintain a pregnancy. Thankfully our third pregnancy was a success, however, not without a few bumps along the way. The first trimester I had to get my blood levels checked every two weeks to make sure my hormone levels continued to rise. Around 20 weeks into the pregnancy we chose to have the AFP blood test, which is just a screening to determine if our baby had a risk of having Downs Syndrome or Spinal Bifida, among other birth defects. Unfortunately the test came back positive for Spinal Bifida. My doctor ordered a level II ultrasound to take a better look at our baby. We had to wait almost two weeks for that appointment and it was the longest, most stressful, worrisome time of our lives. We prayed, and prayed, and prayed to have one healthy baby. On January 9, 2003 (that date is forever engraved in my mind) we went to the level II ultrasound with a great fear that something may be wrong with our baby. Fortunately God answered all our prayers and we were told we had a healthy baby girl. Later on in the pregnancy I developed gestational diabetes and had to monitor my blood sugars several times a day and adjust my diet accordingly. Towards the end of the pregnancy I was scheduled for several non-stress tests to see how well our baby was doing inutero and how well she would handle delivery. On May 29, 2003 our baby girl decided to make her grand appearance on our 4th wedding anniversary. The labor and delivery didn't exactly go smoothly to say the least. But in the end she was worth it all.
We knew we had been completely blessed to have the one, healthy baby girl we had prayed for. We know we can't make deals with God, but he gave us what we asked for so why would we want to tempt fate? That being said, despite the fact that the pregnancy and delivery were extremely stressful for us that is not the only reason we chose to have only one child. We also know that we can provide much more for one child than we can multiple children. Madelyn doesn't lack for anything, especially our time and attention. She is one very well loved child.
People have made comments that we are being selfish by not providing her a sibling and that it isn't fair that she won't have a brother or sister to lean on if something should happen to us. Well, there are no guarantess that siblings will have a great bond and are going to be lifelong friends. I could give you several examples where that is the case. Also, if something tragic were to happen and Ryan and I were no longer here I have complete faith in our immediate family to provide Madelyn with the love and support she will need. I also believe Madelyn will have very dear friends in her life that will be there for her.
I often times get the "itch" to have another baby, but that itch is only for a baby. I love babies and if they would stay that way forever I would have twelve of them. But quite honestly I'm not a huge kid fan and sweet, chunky babies grow into sassy, frustrating kids. Also, Ryan is very adamant about wanting only one child. Although he changed his mind about not ever wanting kids, I know my limits. We are a family of three and that is how it will be....

And why would we want another one when we already made perfection(quit rolling your eyes!!!).